Adele

Adele. What a massive example of flattering to deceive her songwriting is. It sounds sort of superficially technical, but actually it’s piss-easy. It’s no wonder her songs have shot straight to the top of the list of things for kids to play on piano to make them sound better than they are at it. She’s the piano ballad equivalent of Metallica. She does everything possible to impress you short of actually being good at anything. And her songs do the same sort of thing to her emotions: they give them a grand setting of cod-classical arpeggios and an orchestral arrangement in order to disguise the total inconsequentiality of the subject matter, which is usually that she’s sad at having split up with someone. Adele, I assert, has no actual imagination whatsoever.

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